What if the Improbable Was Somehow Possible?

Coming to terms with the concept of forgiveness in relation to sexual abuse.

Many of us think of sexual abuse as an unpardonable sin. Its effects are so far-reaching. We have been told repeatedly that abusers can’t change, and recovery means acknowledging that fact while no longer permitting what happened to control us. We hold on to the hope that change is possible for us, but we believe that it is impossible for them. And, somehow we suspect that a just God agrees with us. So, victims become survivors after years of recovery, while we imagine perpetrators eventually end up in hell.  What they did to us and those we love is so evil, we would never want that to happen again to another living soul. Society needs to be free from people who abuse the innocent, we reason; justice demands it!

Now close your eyes and imagine God saying that He wants to give your abuser a new heart and a new start. This new heart would enable him or her to respond to you and the world differently from now on. He or she would never abuse anyone again. What type of thoughts flood your mind? Do you hear, “Hell no!” Do words like “impossible” demand a hearing? Do you feel panic, not wanting that to happen? Does it interfere with your sense of justice? Could you trust a God who allowed that? Continue reading

Remembering Mama and How Mother’s Day was Restored for Us

For many years Mother’s Day was difficult for me. I had a hard time picking out a card for my Mama. For reasons I didn’t understand, I shied away from ones that talked about how great she was or how she had always been there for me. I searched for more generic cards that simply said “I love you” or “hope your day is great.” Inevitably, Mama would still declare that I picked out the nicest cards, and I would feel guilty. For some reason, I felt angry with her much of the time. Those who know me will be surprised to read this because everyone agreed that my mom was such a sweet lady. Continue reading