Father Knows Best was a popular television show when I was a child. It was about the Anderson family whose dad offered sage advice whenever one of his children encountered a problem. The image of a caring father who acts in the best interest of his children is an anomaly for victims of sexual abuse … Continue reading How Knowing God as “Father” Informs My Understanding of Prayer
Sexual abuse victims find many reasons to hide: shame, fear, feelings of inadequacy, etc. Over time, hiding can become a way of life. But, what if the things you believe about yourself are not true and the way you see yourself is inaccurate? What might your life become if hiding were no longer necessary? The … Continue reading What If Hiding Is No Longer Necessary?
For many years Mother’s Day was difficult for me. I had a hard time picking out a card for my Mama. For reasons I didn’t understand, I shied away from ones that talked about how great she was or how she had always been there for me. I searched for more generic cards that simply … Continue reading Remembering Mama and How Mother’s Day was Restored for Us
What is the first thing you do with a beautiful flower? If you’re anything like me, you smell it. Why? Because we expect flowers to smell good! Many flowers produce a pleasant scent to attract pollinators that aid in their reproduction. In II Corinthians 2:14-15, the Apostle Paul says that Christians produce a fragrance too: … Continue reading The Impact of Sexual Abuse on the Fragrance of Life
“I love you” are words many of us have heard most of our lives, but what do the words really mean? Who helped to shape our understanding of those words? These are questions I have been asking myself lately as I ponder how sexual abuse influenced my understanding of the meaning of love as a … Continue reading What does “I Love You” Really Mean to a Survivor?
This week’s post is shorter than usual, but I trust it will encourage you as it has me. In 2018, I am reading the Bible through chronologically. I finished reading Leviticus recently. I must admit it isn’t one of my favorite books. Nevertheless, I noticed something in Leviticus that comforted me because it revealed God's … Continue reading Don’t Look the Other Way!
The day my heart shattered was one of those moments frozen in time, much like 911. She was in her late twenties when she told me about the molestation that occurred 15 years earlier. She shared it in snippets over the following year with each revelation cutting deeper than the last. How could this be? … Continue reading Repressed Memories: Why Didn’t I Remember Sooner?
If you have always remembered your abuse and hated your abuser, this post may seem strange to you. That was not the case with me. For years my abuser was my hero. In fact, I didn’t remember my abuse until after it was disclosed that he had also abused my child! My suppressed memories resurfaced … Continue reading What Prayer for Sexual Abuse Taught Me About Significance
According to the Mayo Clinic Libraries, the value placed on the basic elements in the human body is $4.50. When I was younger, my brother “appraised my value” as much less! Repeatedly, he told me, “If Daddy had a quarter, you wouldn’t have been born!” Apparently, my dad could have bought a condom for 25¢ … Continue reading My Journey from Appraised Value to Declared Worth
When I was a child, I had a recurring dream of snakes in my bed! Often I begged my parents to let me sleep in their bed, or I slept with the covers pulled tightly over my head. As an adult, when I finally understood why my childhood bed wasn’t a safe place, I realized … Continue reading What I Learned from Snakes in My Bed