Coming to terms with the concept of forgiveness in relation to sexual abuse.

What if the Improbable Was Somehow Possible?

Many of us think of sexual abuse as an unpardonable sin. Its effects are so far-reaching. We have been told repeatedly that abusers can’t change, and recovery means acknowledging that fact while no longer permitting what happened to control us. We hold on to the hope that change is possible for us, but we believe … Continue reading What if the Improbable Was Somehow Possible?

What If Hiding Is No Longer Necessary?

Sexual abuse victims find many reasons to hide:  shame, fear, feelings of inadequacy, etc.  Over time, hiding can become a way of life. But, what if the things you believe about yourself are not true and the way you see yourself is inaccurate? What might your life become if hiding were no longer necessary? The … Continue reading What If Hiding Is No Longer Necessary?

The Impact of Sexual Abuse on the Fragrance of Life

What is the first thing you do with a beautiful flower? If you’re anything like me, you smell it. Why? Because we expect flowers to smell good! Many flowers produce a pleasant scent to attract pollinators that aid in their reproduction. In II Corinthians 2:14-15, the Apostle Paul says that Christians produce a fragrance too: … Continue reading The Impact of Sexual Abuse on the Fragrance of Life

What does “I Love You” Really Mean to a Survivor?

“I love you” are words many of us have heard most of our lives, but what do the words really mean? Who helped to shape our understanding of those words? These are questions I have been asking myself lately as I ponder how sexual abuse influenced my understanding of the meaning of love as a … Continue reading What does “I Love You” Really Mean to a Survivor?

Repressed Memories: Why Didn’t I Remember Sooner?

The day my heart shattered was one of those moments frozen in time, much like 911. She was in her late twenties when she told me about the molestation that occurred 15 years earlier. She shared it in snippets over the following year with each revelation cutting deeper than the last. How could this be? … Continue reading Repressed Memories: Why Didn’t I Remember Sooner?

What Prayer for Sexual Abuse Taught Me About Significance

What Prayer for Sexual Abuse Taught Me About Significance

If you have always remembered your abuse and hated your abuser, this post may seem strange to you.  That was not the case with me. For years my abuser was my hero. In fact, I didn’t remember my abuse until after it was disclosed that he had also abused my child! My suppressed memories resurfaced … Continue reading What Prayer for Sexual Abuse Taught Me About Significance

My god had No Arms: Overcoming a distorted image of God resulting from sexual abuse

My “god” had No Arms!

As a prayer counselor prayed with me after my mother’s death, I remember how shocked I was to hear myself exclaim, “My god had no arms!” It came in response to a childhood memory of my mom accidentally scalding me as she washed my hair. Such words would normally never come from my lips, but … Continue reading My “god” had No Arms!