If you have been in Christian circles for any length of time, you have heard it said, “Nothing happens to a child of God, unless God allows it.” Other times you’ll hear, “There’s a reason for everything.” This suggests that tragedy was allowed for good. My ExPerience The suggestion that nothing would touch me without … Continue reading Finding God Amidst Trauma: Was He in It?
It doesn’t take long before victims ask themselves this question: “God, if you are all powerful, all knowing, and present everywhere as I have been taught, where were you when I was hurt? No loving earthly father would allow bad things to happen to one of his children if he was capable of intervening! Why … Continue reading God, Where Were You?
When I was young, I couldn’t sleep without a night-light, even if it meant leaving the bathroom light on with the door cracked. Just that little bite of light could help me discern if someone was in my bedroom who wasn’t supposed to be there. The worst fear of all was to be surprised in the … Continue reading Church Wounds and Night-Lights
In U.S. churches, pastors are generally highly esteemed, and in some places almost idolized by their congregations. Therefore, to question pastoral actions or lack thereof, teachings, or approaches to ministry can be frowned upon. Those who make waves may ride them right out the front door! Many parishioners experience church like ducks swimming serenely on … Continue reading Is It Ever Right to Make Waves at Church?
It is human nature to desire for judgment to immediately fall on those who harm us or those we love. This is especially true for survivors of sexual abuse. I once led a support group of sexual abuse survivors comprised of several leaders in the church. Without exception, everyone longed for their abusers to be … Continue reading Is “Calling Down Fire” Really Necessary?
It important to know the difference because abuse survivors can be hurt or even retraumatized by behavior that resembles Christ at first glance but upon further examination has little in common with Him. This is one of the primary ways that the enemy of our souls keeps us from truly getting to know the Lord … Continue reading Is It Christlike or Just Religious?
A friend asked recently why I had not posted in my blog since April 2021? Events that shook my world in the fall of 2021 immediately came to mind, along with the resulting pain of spiritual abuse that accompanied them. It began when a close friend confided that she saw online that our church’s newly … Continue reading The Costly Impact of “Cheap Grace”
Recently I read a book written by a 17-year-old girl who had been sexually abused by a family friend from early childhood into her teenage years. In the comments section, an Amazon reviewer wrote, “She tells somewhere in this book there are some experiences she doesn’t want known,” then the reviewer went on to suggest … Continue reading The Secret No Sexual Abuse Victim Shares
The year 2020 was difficult for most of us. It was especially difficult for me. In early December I lost my best friend. She had been with me through thick and thin. She knew me before and after my story of abuse. She was my sounding board, my confidant, and one of few people I … Continue reading The Day the Emojis Died
One of the greatest struggles in my life has been finding my voice when conflicts arise. If I am honest, I have found it easier to talk about people rather than to them, especially when misunderstandings occur! I have struggled to express my thoughts even though I know my feelings and opinions are valid. As … Continue reading What Do You Say When Conflicts Arise?
Restored Destiny 